How to Be a Power Connector

Author – Judy Robinett

Finding Allies, Building Alliances
The Go-Giver
Endless Referrals
The Generosity Network
Can’t buy me like: how authentic customer connections drive superior results
Super Connect
The Wisdom of Psychopaths
Linchpin: are you indispensable
Give and take
Make your own luck:12 practical steps to taking smarter risks in business
Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking
Eliminate the chaos at work: 25 techniques to increase productivity

The Power of High-value, Strategic Connections

networking → getting to know people that I enjoy and genuinely take an interest in them.

It’s not just about how good you are. It’s about the people you know and how you’re willing to stay connected to them.
Anything of great value in business is going to come from someone you know and trust. Without a great network, your success will be capped. A deep, strong network is a necessity.

A more effective way is to put yourself in places where you can get to know people personally and figure out how to help them before you ask them for something.

If you first look to be generous with the people you know-if you do something for them simply to be helpful, not looking for anything in return-they appreciate it and can’t help but reciprocate.

The more people you know, the easier it is for you to access circles that you may not be able to reach otherwise.

How can I put two people together in a way that’s beneficial to both?

Your network only expands and gets deeper the more you use it.

“Skill is fine, and genius is splendid, but the right contacts are more valuable than either.” — Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

When Mormon missionaries went out on their two-year mission, they had to be become excellent at connecting with anyone and everyone at a moment’s notice. They also had to learn how to take a lot of no’s and just keep going on.

One of the core truths of business: everything is about connection.

If you want to achieve any goal, you need other people to help you do it-and your chances of success are far greater if you can help other people achieve their goals as well.

When you discover those who are central to that network and you add value to them-by providing information, introductions, work, or simply helping them out in small and big ways-they will start to see you as a resourcecolleague, and friend.

Focus on adding value to everyone you meet.
Every person has a gif to give and receive, and every person has problems that he needs help to solve.

Before you become a master of strategic relationships, you need to:

  1. pinpoint the relationships you will pursue and nurture
  2. reach beyond just friends, family, and profession and build a wide network of connections
  3. use a system for adding value to those contacts regularly
  4. become the connector between connections-the person who can help people reach a resource they would never know about and could never reach if it weren’t for you.

The more connection, the more abundance; the more connection, the more creativity; the more things are made-the printing press, the airplane, the Internet, money, ideas, information-the better the world becomes.

Economic, personal, and professional success is about connecting the right people with the right resources in the right way, so that their value is magnified. Your success will come through your connections with other people. Even one new connection can radically change your world.

Master the ability to build deep, strategic relationships that create value immediately.
Be a conduit of information, connection, and introductions that my network could never access otherwise.

Human beings can build and maintain relationships with around 150 people.

‘Do I want to know this person?’

‘Do I need to know this person?’

‘Does this person need to know me?’

“A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.” – John D. Rockefeller

In a world in which competition is global, the advantage of separating yourself from your competition based on technology, service, or price will always be fleeting.

What will set you apart over the long term is the quality of the business relationships you build.

The relational capital of your business that will do the most for your business’s success.

“Six degrees of separation”
-> most people in the world are connected by a chain of six or fewer relationships.

You will often find that the majority of people you need to know are in the networks of your strategic relationships.

Your network is your most valuable asset because nothing happens without people.
Look for people whom you can help to solve their problems, and who can help you do the same.

Connect with them, add value to them first, and continue to connect and add value to them.

Friends, Allies, and Power Connectors

“Both B2B and B2C are dead. It is now the age of P2P.” – Mike Muhney

The connections you make throughout your life will lead to other connections that just might be the key to greater success.

The value of your network multiplies by the value of the networks of the people in it.

Weak Links

  • Strangely enough, weak links are actually the strongest and most important connections in your network.
  • Weak links are the critical connections between your network and individuals you would never have the chance to meet otherwise, but who might be exactly the people you need.
  • Weak links provide you with greater exposure to different information, situations, and perspective from a broader cross-section of networks at every level.

“People who act as bridges between groups can become central to the overall network and so are more likely to be rewarded financially and otherwise.” – Ronald Burt

The potential value of a network increases exponentially with every new network connected to it. – Metcalfe’s Law

Your position(value) in the community is based on the number of connections you have and how those connections are intertwined with each other and other networks.

A power connector creates high quality connections between individuals and their networks. Power connectors seek to add value by putting the best people in touch with the best resources, with the goal of creating greater success for all concerned.

“More connections are less important than the right connections.” – Super connect

Top 5: The 5 people closet to me. Connect almost daily. Trust with my life.
Key 50: The 50 important relationships that represent significant value to my life and business. I tend to these connections carefully, and I am always looking for ways to add value to them.
Vital 100: The 100 people I touch base with at least once a month. Both the human touch and added value are critical to my keeping these relationships fresh.

“You have to develop a human capital network. People with whom you can be very open, who will give you their best advice, and you like doing the same thing for them.” Kay Koplovitz.

When it comes to choosing the people for your own strategic relationships, you need to select them first and foremost on the basis of who they are instead of what they have accomplished.

10 essential character traits:

  1. Authentic. They are genuine, honest, and transparent. They are cognizant of (and willing to admit to) their strengths and weaknesses.
  2. Trustworthy. They build relationships on mutual trust. They have a good reputation based on real results. They have integrity: their word is their bond. People must know, like, and trust you before sharing their valuable social capital.
    3. Respectful. They are appreciative of the time and efforts of others. They treat subordinates with the same level of respect as they do supervisors.
    4. Caring. They like to help others succeed. They’re a source of mutual support and encouragement. They pay attention to the feelings of others and have good hearts.
    5. Listening. They ask good questions, and they are eager to learn about others—what’s important to them, what they’re working on, what they’re looking for, and what they need—so they can be of help.
    6. Engaged. They are active participants in life. They are interesting and passionate about what they do. They are solution minded, and they have great “gut” instincts.
    7. Patient. They recognize that relationships need to be cultivated over time. They invest time in maintaining their relationships with others.
    8. Intelligent. They are intelligent in the help they offer. They pass along opportunities at every chance possible, and they make thoughtful, useful introductions. They’re not ego driven. They don’t criticize others or burn bridges in relationships.
    9. Sociable. They are nice, likeable, and helpful. They enjoy being with people, and they are happy to connect with others from all walks of life, social strata, political persuasions, religions, and diverse backgrounds. They are sources of positive energy.
    10. Connected. They are part of their own network of excellent strategic relationships.

Trust is the currency of power connecting.

Your ability to screen your connections and pass along only the best to your network is the hallmark of a true power connector.

Make your Network Wide, Deep, and Robust

“You can be great at whatever it is that you do, but is is the breadth, depth, and quality of your relationships with others that will determine your sphere of influence and ultimate success.” – Chris Camillo

To build a truly rich network, you need to step outside of your personal and professional comfort zones and incorporate greater diversity into your power circles.
You must actively seek out those who are different from you-age, experience, profession, geography, belief, politics, and culture.

Don’t be one person away from power: be one by a factor of three. That way, if one link isn’t available, odds are the others will work.

Often it's not the person in your network who has what you want; it's a friend or business associate who is five links away from that person.

Make it a practice to actively reach out through the networks of your connections (always with the goal of adding value and acknowledging the individual who introduced you in the first place.)

The real “magic” of a network arises when people of all color, background, and walks of life meet and form new relationships.

Authenticity, honesty, fair play, caring, and a focus on giving to others. Those values are the price of admission to my network.

As long as you have some basic values in common, people who don’t think exactly as you do can bring a raft of different experiences and views that will broaden your perspective and enrich your network.

Having geographical diversity will help you access the right resources and the right people in the right areas of the world.

Find people with wide-ranging interests and passions.
What are fields that complement your business and/or interests?
Where else can you go for valuable contacts who can bring you new information and resources, and for whom you can do the same?

Find the linchpin.

Every network also has a linchpin, someone without whom the network would not functions as effectively.

People wish to network with those who are highly networked already.

The Right Ecosystems will Determine your Success

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with others.” – African proverb

You've got to know where to find the influencers in your particular industry and field.

Whenever I moved to a new city, I would seek to make friends with the editor of the paper, country commissioners, investors, and local businesspeople.

“Wealthy people follow their passions-be it the arts, social causes, politics. You need to find out what they are passionate about, and if you can share their passion, you need to enter that ecosystem by adding value with your time, money, or connections.”

When you connect with someone over a passion, it’s a far more natural and authentic relationship.

Make sure that you know your local government representatives and that they know you.
Volunteer for committees and commissions.

Every politician is interested in donors, supporters, campaign workers, and endorsements from the business community-and if you can provide any of the above, politicians will take your call.

Becoming an active participant in your community ecosystem will give you access to relationships and people you would never have otherwise.

Before you entering an ecosystem, be sure of 3 things:

  1. Who are the people you wish to meet?
  2. Determine what you have to offer them rather than focusing on what you need.
  3. Make sure you are a good fit for the ecosystem before you try to enter it.

The Power Connector Mindset

: You need to build your relationships early, and you need to base them on the same criteria as every other relationship: respect, mutual values, and a desire to benefit all parties.

“At one time, our friends were just strangers to us. What if, as we pass all of the strangers in our lives, we looked at these strangers as if they could be friends?” – James Murphy

“I try to remember that everyone else is also awkward and unsure and looking to meet people too.”

The ability to approach strangers with the purpose of connecting for your business is a critical skill.

People must know youlike you, and trust you.

Power connectors must demonstrate both warmth and competence, but I would argue that warmth and liking are the factors that create an initial good impression and a higher possibility of longer-term connections.

If someone drifts out of your network or you part with them for any reason, always think long term when it comes to the way you end the connection.

“I try to make a practice of always asking new people what they are working on, what they are looking for, and what they need. And if I encounter opportunities for someone else, I pass it along.”

Many power connectors specialize in mentoring those who are on their way up.

“When you come from a place of servitude, help and support is returned to you a hundredfold.” – Kathy Caprino

The Power Connecting System

Phase 1: Prepare to connect by analyzing yourself and your current network and determining the people you need to add (and from which ecosystems) to make your power circles wider, deeper, and more robust.
Phase 2: Plan your first contact with new individuals by preparing a share, value-add, and ask. Then you ready yourself to connect immediately with the people you meet. Finally, you add value quickly and strengthen the relationship from the start.
Phase 3: Assess and consolidate. Do something to reconnect within 24 hours, evaluate the connection and place it within your 5+50+100 circles, then deepen the relationship by continuing to add value.
Phase 4: Is where the real power of power connecting resides: connecting people within your network for their (and your) greater success.
-> Remember, the right relationships, in the right ecosystems, created and nurtured in the right way, will accelerate your success.

Prepare to Power Connect


  1. Getting clear on what you have to offer and what you need.
  2. Evaulating your current network and putting your contacts into 5+50+100 power circles.
  3. Creating a plan to reach out to new relationships based on
    • shared values
    • added value
    • value created together

“The most important factor in making your connections work exponentially well is knowing yourself.” – Winston Perez

Know who you are, what you have to offer, and what you need

  1. Make a list of all of your professional and personal accomplishments and associations, and the ecosystems they have allowed you to enter.
  2. To assess your value-add potential, make an inventory of your skills, knowledge, and strengths.
    Ask 3~5 of your closest associates what they believe are your greatest strengths.
  3. List your weaknesses and your deficiencies in skills and knowledge. What do you need to improve personally and professionally? What do you need to learn or add?
    “What’s one thing you think I could improve on?”
  4. What skills, knowledge, and strengths would you like to add or develop for your personal and professional growth?
  5. Make a list of your current connections.
    Whever you want to go, relationships will get you there.
  6. From your current connections choose your top 5, key 50, and vital 100.
  7. Rate yourself and your current 5+50+100 in terms of resources and influence.
  8. List 3~5 of your professional goals for the next 3 months, 6 months, and 1 year.
  9. What help do you need to accomplish these goals? What people? Opportunities? Knowledge? Funding? What ecosystems do you need to access?
  10. Whom do you need to add to your power circles to accomplish your short and long term goals?
  11. Make a plan to reach out to new connections during the next three to six months.

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” – Jane Howard

Top 5: close family and friends, including business associates whom you consider close friends.
Key 50: friends and associates whom you know you can call upon for all kinds of help and advice and vice versa.
Vital 100: akin to athletes on the bench -> you pay attention to them, add value to them, and regard them as important members of your team.

“The types of people you choose to surround yourself with will ultimately define the caliber of person you will be. For this reason, it is critical to choose your mentors, associates, and close business confidantes wisely.” – Anu Bhardwaj

Make it a habit to ask:

  1. What would make it possible for you to accomplish your goals more easily?
  2. What can your current network do to be of assistance?
  3. What additional help might you need?

The 8 Key Ecosystems:

  1. family & friends
  2. passions & interests
  3. career or profession
  4. government & politics
  5. finance
  6. media
  7. industry
  8. community

One of the easiest ways to enter many ecosystems is by joining key groups within it.

Target, Connect, and Engage

There never is a perfect time for a connection, so you must make it happen.

Your share
You need to give people a sense of who you are before you tell them what you do. It is a way of telling your story that educates others about your heart, head, and gut. It helps people know you and begin to like you, so that trusting you will follow. Include who you are, what you’re about, and what you’re interested in.

  • Start with personal details; talk about your family, your hobbies, and your civic or community involvements.
  • Include a few sentences about your business or profession that reflect your energy and passion about what you do.
  • Think of ways to make your description interesting and intriguing, even provocative.
    This is not a promotion of what you do but a story that demonstrates your passion and energy for your business or profession.
    Your share is a chance to educate others on exactly who you are.
    Outline your share and become familiar with the main points you want to include from your personal and professional life.
    Let your share reflect who you are at your best.

“I’ve always been interested in the truth. My journey to get as close to it as possible has shaped my interests and values over the years. For example, I have an almost perverted obsession of reading books. I read one book a week. I’m also passionate about business and entrepreneurship. I also enjoy helping people. And that’s why I run an IT outsourcing company because I can build many businesses that can also help people as well as help people build their own apps and businesses.”

“I’ve always been interested in how to make money. Probably because I started living away from home since high school. So I’ve been hustling ever since. I wish I had someone that could’ve helped me back then; then, I would have saved a lot of time and money. So, I am trying to become that person for others. My team and I run an online community called Financial Freedom First and we make content to help others make money. We also run a private IT outsourcing company because many of our own ideas are about making money online. “

Your Value-Add

"If you want people to reach out to you and include you in their network, they'll do so faster if you have something to offer-and if you give it before you ask for something in return.
I know that I must earn the right to build a relationship with you. I know that in order to earn that right, I have to provide something of value. I am making the decision to provide that value and pursue a relationship regardless of the outcome of any ultimate benefit to myself." - Jay Allen

Your Ask

  • A clear delineation of your endeavors and whatever assistance would be of benefit, no matter who or where it comes from.
    ex: “I own a training company that specializes in cross-cultural customer service. We have offices in Chicago and Dubai, and we’re looking for partners to help us expand into Asia.”
  • Your ask needs to match the ecosystem and “room” you’re in as well as the person you’re meeting.
  • Do your research to find the right room and then make sure your request is appropriate for the people you’re asking.
  • Make sure that your ask is appropriate for the stage of the relationship.
  • Inappropriate asks indicate that you haven’t done your research, and you will be labeled an amateur.
  • Your ask must be appropriate to the closeness of the relationship at that particular moment.
  • Eliminate any fear you may have about asking for help.

6 secrets of a Great Ask:

  1. Start small
    Once granted, a small request opens the door to other requests and favors.
    Once we’ve made a commitment to someone, we tend to want to stay consistent with our decision and therefore will grant more requests. Your fist ask must be for a moment of a person’s time, or a short meeting, or a referral. Small, easily satisfied requests allow you to build the relationship one step at a time.
    Often the best thing to ask for first is advice: “If you were in my shoes what would you do?”
  2. Make your ask specific.
    A clear, direct, specific ask is much easier to fulfill.
  3. Make your ask appropriate to the person, room, and ecosystem.
    The appropriateness of your ask makes it clear you’ve done your research and you know what people can and cannot provide.
  4. Build your ask around a story that expresses your passion.
    People buy with emotion and justify with logic, and the same is true when it comes to “selling” your ask.
    Tell a story that will engage both you and your listener.
    “Aim for the heart, not the wallet.” Your story is the heart of your ask.
  5. Be willing to ask for help.
    “Please help me” will get people moving.
  6. Whether or not people are able to fulfill your ask, express your gratitude for their time and ask them to keep you in mind.
    “Keep me in mind.”

Meet and Immediately Connect
Your personal style speaks long before you open your mouth. Make what you say and how you look suitable.

  • Buy the best quality you can afford.
  • Complimenting women and men on a jacket, a tie, or a piece of jewelry is an excellent way to open a conversation.
  • On the phone or in an online contact, make sure your speaking and writing styles are professional and appropriate. Watch your grammar and spelling; mistakes make you look sloppy and uneducated.
  • Look approachable.

Marriott 15/5 rule: whenever an employee comes within 15 feet of anyone in a Marriott hotel, the employee acknowledges the guest with eye contact or a friendly nod. If the guest comes within 5 feet, the employee smiles and says hello.

The first 3 minutes of a connection are vital for building rapport
Give a firm handshake and smile.

Start a conversation by asking a question. Offer a sincere compliment if appropriate. Be attentive to body language and tone of voice. Think of this person as if he or she were going to become one of your best friends, and then do your best to discover what you like about him or her.

Be fully present and listen

  • Give the people you are meeting the courtesy of your full attention when you are with them. It will make you more memorial and your communication richer.
  • The more you listen the stronger the connection others will feel with you.
  • Pretend this stranger is a close friend, or try focusing on him/her as if you couldn’t see and could only listen.

Ask great questions
If you ask people questions about themselves, their businesses, their families, and their interests, you make them feel important. And when you listen to their answers with your eyes, ears, and heart, you will learn and understand more about them than you can imagine.

Engage-Deepen the Connection and Set the Stage for More

Find something in common: a person, location, experience, or point of view.

The way to get someone to like you immediately is to find a commonality.

Find out who they are-discover what is important to them professionally and, more important, personally.

All individuals are unique, and it’s our job to discover what makes them so.

Find out about their career/business, what sets them apart, where they see themselves in the new few years, what they have to offer, and what kinds of advice and help they might need.

“The best way to provide value for others is to focus on them and find out about them by asking questions they enjoy answering-like ‘How did you get started in business?’ If you ask about what they do and what they enjoy most, and you actively listen, you’ll find it easy to create a relationship.”

Everyone is trying to be successfulloved, and healthy, and that’s why the three things that are important to most people are their money, their children, and their health.

If someone isn’t a good fit, smile and move on.

Share and be real.
Talking about your hopes, your goals, and your struggles is one way to connect deeply and quickly.

Put yourself in other people’s shoes. What would they want and value? What help might they need?
Sometimes the simplest way to do this is to ask “How can I help?”

Give or add value immediately.
Value: a contact, an introduction, an insight, an advice, a favorpotential businessinformation-as long as it links directly to the person’s personal and professional interests.
Think of value-adds as anything that can:

  1. save time
  2. save money
  3. save someone’s sanity
  4. bring more fun to someone’s life
The greatest value you can give is to open doors for others and help them be and do more in their lives.

Mention your ask, but don’t “sell” it
Only after you’ve added value should you talk about your own needs and wants.
Think of this a “tease” rather than a request. You want them to know something about your and your business and what you are working on at the moment so they can keep you in mind.
Relationships actually grow stronger if both parties have the chance to give and receive.

Create intrigue-lay the foundation for another meeting

"What's the one thing I can say that will lay a foundation for a future connection?"
Capture their data, and make a commitment to follow up quickly.

Corridor Principle: imagine you are looking down a corridor with a long row of doors on either side, but all the doors are shut. Inevitably the door you think will open won’t-but the one next to it will. In business relationships, most people stop after one connection when the person they really need is three links away.
Before you leave any meeting or encounter you always should ask the 3 Golden Questions:

The 3 Golden Questions

1. “How can I help you?”
2. “What ideas do you have for me?”
3. “Who else do you know that I should talk to?”

Reconnect, Assess and Activate, and Multiply Value
“The ability to get things done with collaborative networks is the next evolution in human productivity.” – Finding Allies, Building Alliances

Build a culture of adding value and helping others within your circle:

When you add value consistently, time after time, and you show people that keeping them in mind is important to you, then that kind of attitude will quickly become the norm for your power circles, and for anyone who joins them. And they, too, will experience the enjoyment and richness that giving freely to others can bring.

Connect your Connections for Added Success

Understand the power of being the one who connects the connectors.

“Position yourself as a center of influence, the one who knows the movers and shakers. People respond to that, and you’ll soon become what you project.” – Bob Burg

“The people who make an introduction are putting themselves out there for you, so you can be sure to make them proud. Always make them look smart for having made the introduction, and then thank them and nurture those relationships.” – Elisa All

Consider it a courtesy to keep the power connector informed of the progress of the relationship she helped to initiate.

Power Connecting Strategies for Social Media and Conferences

5 fundamental channels that power connectors currently use to create and maintain relationships online:

  1. LinkedIn
  2. email
  3. Twitter(X)
  4. content creation
  5. Facebook(meta)

Join the groups where the people you wish to know congregate.

Go to meetings regularly, volunteer for high-level projects, and take positions on the group's board of directors.

“Ninety percent of success in life comes from showing up. You have to be there to create the magic.” – David Bradford

11 keys to maximizing conference power connecting:

  1. Arrive early.
  2. Don’t spend much time with people you already know.
  3. Strike up conversations with strangers.
  4. Identify and meet the connectors.
  5. Go where people congregate.
  6. Before sessions, look around-whom can you meet?
  7. Have a plan for connecting with speakers.
  8. Choose your moment carefully.
  9. Introduce yourself successfully.
  10. Help others out by making beneficial introductions on the spot.
  11. Get and give follow-up information whenever you end a conversation.

Men vs. Women Tendencies

Men build alliances.
Women develop networks of relationships.

Men share resources within their network.
Women share resources as a means for expanding their network.

Men network up and down.
Women tend to network more peer to peer.

Men are rewarded for “taking charge”.
Women are rewarded for “taking care”.

Men create teams.
Women collaborate.

Men are rewarded for advocating for themselves.
Women are rewarded for advocating for others.

Men are sponsored.
Women are mentored.

Men trade favors.
Women help.

Men network with those who are like themselves.
Women do too, but they’re better at diversity.

Power Connections are Connections First

Business is more relationship based than ever, and the value of our connections has never been higher.
Your connections can matter more than your background, location, age, appearance, gender, or social status(“It’s not what you know, but who you know”).
No matter what their backgrounds are or where they come from, people who have a wealth of quality connections can access the kinds of opportunities and resources that lead to greater success.

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather, try to become a man of value.” — Albert Einstein

Power connectors:

  • Are true to themselves while bringing their best to every relationship.
  • Genuinely care for and want to help others.
  • Are open to, and actively seek out, relationships with strangers.
  • Follow up and follow through.
  • Keep in touch regularly with their power circle members (once every day or so with their Top 5, once a week with their Key 50, and once a month with their Vital 100)
  • Keep their commitments to others and regard their word as their bond.
  • Focus relentlessly on adding value-first, last, and always. “Unless you’ve given meaningful things a couple of times, you haven’t established a relationship.”
  • understand the greatest value they can add is connecting people with one another.
  • Ask appropriately, intelligently, and at the right time.
  • Know the value they need may come from unexpected sources.
  • Build trust over time.
  • Believe that “to whom much is given, much is expected.” They seek to uplift and help others. “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle”
  • know that who they become in the process of giving is more important than anything they may receive.
  • Build communities of value.

“Connections give purpose and meaning to our lives.” — Brene Brown

Top 10 Tips from the author

  1. Start with the Three Golden Questions:
    “How can I help you?”
    “What ideas do you have for me?”
    “Who else do you know that I should talk to?”
  2. If you’re not succeeding, you’re in the wrong room. Most people get stuck looking for love in all the wrong places.
  3. For every tough problem, there is a match with the solution. Critical resources are attached to people.
  4. Measure the value of your contacts not by their net worth but by whether they have a good head, heart, and gut.
  5. Stranger danger is a fallacy. You’re an adult.
  6. People must know, like, and trust you before sharing valuable social capital.
  7. Don’t get lost in a crowd. Create a wide, deep, and robust network of your Key 50 that you carefully, water, bathe in sunshine, and fertilize to grow-and that you prune as needed.
  8. Keep the rule of two: give two favors before asking.
  9. Introductions are your most valuable commodities, so only curate win-win connections: What is the value proposition for both parties?
  10. If you can remember only one tip, make it this one: engage in random acts of kindness. You never know how one small act can tip the scales.